The Eight UwU

The Eight UwUs
We always comply with the eight UwU. Every January 3rd The UwU Spirit and everyone else awakens and recites the eight UwU. The Eight UwU are as follows: These are then played out through precisely 128 mood balloons, which can then form an anagram of ♡ (heart) and a homophone of ♘ (knight).
 * The first UwU is vibration
 * The second UwU is health
 * The Third UwU is energy
 * The Fourth UwU is height
 * The Fifth UwU is age
 * The Sixth UwU is bucks
 * The Seventh UwU is stamina
 * The Eighth UwU is flex

The Purpose of the Eight UwUs
After reciting The Eight UwUs, The UwU Spirit reviews all people on the Registery of Minor Panda Bear Accident Victims (it is uncertain if the Panda Bears are minors, if the victims are minors, or if the accidents themselves are minor) for the one with the most pure UwU. This person is then canonized.

Source
https://www.facebook.com/botsofnewyork/photos/a.2028566864113743/2440566189580473/