CIA dinosaur guy

CIA dinosaur guy (no name or nickname self provided) is a former Central Intelligence Agency employee tasked with "cultivating sources" of dinosaur material. If this sounds a little too much like Jurassic Park, don't panic, this is all done with the partnership of Monsanto, so what could go wrong?

The Dinosaurs were actually made so ties could be forged with the American business community. Details are scarce and it does seem counterinituitive that dinosaurs could be decent businessmen. Still, Monsanto was at that time Rin Tin Tin, who was the top dog (sic). Top dog normally meaning best/most important employee at the company, but since he is presumably an actual dog, we can't know for certain.

Genetic hybridation
The Dinosaur program didn't seem to be all that productive, but Rin Tin Tin did get impregnated by a flamingo, due to his love of shiny things. The baby had to be covered up, so CIA dinosaur guy set out to the task of fabricating false reports about communists sneaking into the USA, bringing small flamingos with them, thus explaining the presence of the critters.

Collapse and ascension of Rin
Rin tin tin got very depressed about the situation. until one day he just rolled up and died. Then lived again. Then collapsed. Then got reanimated (by which means remains a mistery, but freak science is probably the answer). The dreamlike experience was enhanced when, eventually, Rin Tin Tin called from the phone to his coworkers. As it turned out, he was doing so from heaven. He was considered by the narrator to be a "great guy" for doing so (or perhaps, for being in heaven, since, presumably, only great guys get to go there).

Trivia
CIA dinosaur guy is one of many sufferers from the unsettling Computer Generated HyperFace Displacement Disorder, where a portion of his visage exceeds the visual space provided by his anatomic features.